A recent article I read by Nattavudh Powdt explained in depth a range of studies which support the notion that having children does not make you happy. (I can hear Samantha Jones in the distance shouting “I told you so”) 

 

So this got me thinking, if having children doesn’t make you happy and we are constantly being told things such as: Money can't buy you happiness, relationships are a series of unhappy compromises and material possessions wont make you feel for fulfilled. Then what on this earth can make us happy?! And then it came to me like the flash of a paparazzi camera that Victoria Beckham must now be immune to. The answer is yourself – only you can make you feel happy. 

 

Many of you out there may have just sighed on reading that last sentence – why? Because relying on you to uplift yourself is no easy task, or is it? Here are a few easy ways to give yourself a happy outlook on yourself and the life which you have created – at least for 12 hours. 

 

Bank Book – As we are currently in this most saddening time of the ‘economical downturn crisis’, what could be better than a bank you can rely on through good times and bad? No interest rates and unlimited benefits?

I fear Alistair Darling is hunting me down as we speak, but this bank is on no high street, welcome to the bank of you. Take a scrap book, notebook, cheaply made writing pad, get some wallpaper, wrapping paper and take time and effort to customise it, decorate it and make it yours.

 

Now for the science bit...write down all the compliments you have ever received, all of your achievements and positive thoughts. Bank them, keep them and let them build up. Then on a particularly down day perhaps when your boss is giving you hell, take a few minutes to read it. Absorb the writing and ponder on your mood when you wrote those thoughts.

 

Ask for a compliment, if you feel unhappy and a little low, ask somebody ‘What is my best asset?’, ‘What is it about you that they would like to have?’ Now I don’t mean this as a constant way of reassurance, I don’t want to be breeding narcissistic dependant females to roam the world. This is a quick fire way of giving you a little boost when that dull ache of unhappiness consumes you. Furthermore ladies if you receieve a compiment without asking for one be open to this. Now here is the important part to achieving happiness: When you receive your compliment you should describe to yourself what the compliment means to you, and how important it is to you. I am telling you to do this because a study was carried out, which demonstrated that when a person with low self esteem was asked to do this they felt more positive about who they are. The effects lasted up to 2 weeks because it became meaningful and lead them to feel happy and healthy, specifically in their relationships. 

 

One of my favourite quotes about life was by Picasso "Everything you can imagine is real." How wonderful would life be if that were true? Research has shown that negative emotions are used for specific adaptive benefits such as survival and approaching threats so they are not all bad, but positive emotions broaden your mindset. Emotions such as joy can make you more creative, intellectual and artistic. So by broadening your mindset or imagining things that make you smile and be happy, you can only be beneficial in the long term.

 

So remember girlies these are just a few tiny things that can make you smile. The most important thing is to remember it's your responsibility to make yourself feel happy. Then if anything else cheers you up it's just a bonus, and what a bonus!